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GuShiio.com Gushi Intelligence Editor: Gushi
Friends, today’s cryptocurrency news is here! Friendly reminder: High energy ahead, please fasten your seat belts to prevent being thrown away by the dealer!
Hong Kong Securities Regulatory Commission issued a big move: Sister Liang announced a roadmap for virtual assets, and the leeks quickly took notes – you may need a license to work in the future to cut leeks!
Dogecoin sit-ups: DOGE soared in four hours, the MACD bar chart was straighter than the leeks, but KDJ lay flat and pretended to be dead… (tactical spread hands) It is recommended to change the name: Schrodinger’s dog!
SOL performed high-altitude diving: The price slid directly to the support level, and the MACD red bar was longer than my Huabei bill. Netizens commented: The loopholes in the SOL ecosystem are more than my holey socks!
Pump.fun’s slick operation: While BSC was robbing its business, it made $247 million in two months! It is recommended to change careers and open a banknote printing factory, why bother speculating on coins (tactical retreat)
Solana inflation rampage: The new fee mechanism caused the annualized inflation to soar to 4.7%. Netizens: It turns out that there is inflation in the cryptocurrency circle, and the instant noodles in my hand suddenly don’t smell good anymore…
V God online attack: Angry at the project party that took advantage of the president’s popularity as “misguided”, and announced that it would engage in privacy + RWA, and suggested changing the name to “The Light of Ethereum’s Righteousness”
US SEC slacking off: Specializing in cases with deadlines, Coinbase and Ripple’s cases were directly delayed until April, really a patient with advanced procrastination!
Institutions frantically buying the bottom: Q4 Bitcoin ETF holdings surged 200%, Wisconsin pension funds all came to the table, it is recommended to change the ETF code to “YOLO”
EU stablecoin licensing: Circle and Crypto.com were happy to get licenses, but Tether was not found… USDT: It was a wrong payment after all!
Trump is making trouble: Plans to strengthen control over the SEC, the people in the currency circle are trembling: Are you the fuel or the sickle of the bull market?
Binance Newcomer: KAITO is launched today, the airdrop rules are as complicated as advanced math problems, it is recommended to change the name to “Rebirth: I do Olympiad Mathematics in Binance”
Big Pie Plays Heartbeat: 4-hour line shrinks and rises, weekly MACD dead cross warning, analysts comment: This trend is harder to guess than my girlfriend’s mood!
Altcoins are in chaos: the exchange trading volume accounts for 40%, and the open interest has reached a new high. It is recommended to change the name to “Leek’s PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds”
Coinbase plays double standards: CEO claims that he does not speculate on meme coins, but adds Clanker to the list of listed coins… Really, the mouth says no, but the body is honest!
Goldman Sachs secretly increases its position: Holding a $1.5 billion Bitcoin ETF, the Wolf of Wall Street instantly becomes the Husky of Wall Street, woof!
Today’s market summary
Dogecoin sit-ups, SOL fancy diving, and Pie repeatedly jumping sideways. Suggestions to all friends: watch more and do less, beware of being cut, after all – a day in the currency circle is a year in the world, and you can only see the bull market if you are alive!
